I’m not sure when I started not drinking but it certainly was gradual. I’d never experienced any dependency but there was a period that I was going through something traumatic and I found myself drinking every day. It wasn’t much but it became trouble some.
I do not like addictive behaviors within myself due to my childhood so I focused on this behavior and stopped. Suddenly, I was just not drinking at all. Often choosing shrubs for their yummy taste if I was going to have anything. The clincher for me was the research study that came out saying that wine and alcohol were cancer agents and that the wine and alcohol industry had knowingly withheld this data for years.
The most difficult part was that it was hard to hang out with friends because the focus was alcohol and while I didn’t have a problem with saying no or a struggle with needing it, I felt like I was bringing the vibe down. That wasn’t fun at all.
The good news is that there are far more people and places that do not center occasions on alcohol and that is really wonderful.
Yes, saying a big FU to Big Alcohol made the decision much easier for me too! Unfortunately, some people do stop inviting you to stuff because they don’t realize you’re actually more fun without drinking, or they just don’t like what your not drinking says about their drinking, and that’s their issue. You find out who your real friends are.
Love this. You explain it so well. Zero benefits, posion—>similar to smoking a cigarette. Just wish my mom was reading this and not me. I rarely drink anymore, but I guess I never thought about giving it up for good. Figure if I don’t have a problem, it’s okay to want to “loosen up” at a social event of some sort. On that same note though, I pretty much always feel worst after so why do I still reach for it? I stumble my words, overthink, underthink (if that’s a word lol) and get a headache. What’s really fun about that? You didn’t have a problem and still gave it up… I think you’re on to something ❤️
Vicky—if you read Quit Like a Woman by @Holly Whitaker, you would be DONE. It will piss you off like it did me. “Why wait until there’s a problem to quit?” is one of the crazy things we don’t think about since it seems like EVERYONE drinks. And if you don’t, they’ll assume there was a problem. It’s so stupid!
Congratulations Lisa!! I am almost at 3.5 years AF. Life truly is better without it! I have to give you a shout out for your suggestions of embracing Annie Grace’s “This Naked Mind.” And for the gift of Holly Whitaker’s, “Quit Like A Woman.” Both inspirational in addition to your inspiration that you provided on a daily basis! Cheers to us!! Thank you Lisa
Thanks so much, Penny! Congratulations to you!! I appreciate that you were open to hearing what I had to say, and I’m so happy that it’s making your life better too. Cheers indeed!! You are so welcome. I only wish I could share this with more people, but they don’t want to hear it!
I used to say that I was sober-curious-adjacent for a long time. Finally made the leap to sober-curious recently. Not completely sober, but we’ve stopped drinking at home and yes, the difference is undeniable. One that we long KNEW would be, but ignored anyway. Such an abusive, complicated relationship so many of us have with alcohol.
I quit drinking just this past New Year’s Day. I’m not 100 percent sure I *want* to be teetotaler. I respect your decision—I’m fascinated by it, want to learn more—but I just haven’t made up my mind about that yet. I’m feeling my way. I was not an alcoholic, but I was drinking (and eating) more than I wanted to, more than was healthy. I read “Quit Like A Woman,” and also downloaded an app from Britain that tracks and celebrates my progress (haha, it’s an algorithm that shoots up sparkles on my phone). Like you, my quitting was precipitated by illness…not a scary cancer, just a nasty flu, but bad enough that I could not drink for a couple weeks. I definitely feel better now, sleep better, have lost a tiny bit of weight. The best part is, I feel like I discovered my brakes again, that I have more power, more discipline, can bring more energy to all sorts of different aspects of daily life. Like playing with my grandchildren is better. Cooking dinner is better. Disagreeing with people is better. Doing my taxes went better! I just have more on the ball, I guess: emotionally, physically, etc.
I still do struggle with the social aspect of this and am looking forward to you digging into how that’s working for you. I am so leery of being . . . Oh, gosh, where to start? A killjoy? High maintenance? Stuck up? And it’s not just worrying about how I’m perceived, I also worry about *how I will perceive* old friends, loved ones.
Congratulations to you! I think it’s great that you’re taking your own path—as am I—and there’s not a “right” way to do it, just your way! I’d like to recommend Annie Grace’s work, much of which is free online. Watching the daily videos in her free 30 day experiment helped cement my feelings. I added the link to my article above because I can’t do it in a comment.
As she says, “I drink as much as I want, whenever I want; I just don’t want to!”
Wishing you all the best. Thanks for reading and commenting!
If you’re willing and able, could you say more about why you decided it was the right time to get the tattoo. That is, how did you know it was a real permanent change?
Once I read all three books in my post and did Annie Grace’s 30-day Experiment, I just knew I could never go back. I knew too much. My ego wouldn’t allow it!
It was a comment in Laura McKowen's book that got me started on the sobriety path. "How many more times was I willing to break my own heart." I also got sober in 2020. I started my journey with Laura's TLC group. Congratulations on your journey! I am now a host for an international online women's support community that is completely free. I love helping others. And I love that we can offer it for free....no one should have to pay to get sober. Again, congratulations!
Congratulations to you too! 2020 was a great time to give up alcohol, even as others were doubling down. I was in Laura’s TLC group for a while too—and also Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind group. I discovered Annie via Laura and Holly’s old podcast. The amount of free support materials offered by all three of them has been amazing!
Wow, thanks for inspiring, Lisa! So glad you are healthy, and breaking up w drinking sounds like a pivotal moment in your life. Teetotal on. You’re wonderful!
I no longer drink and I’ve found I can enjoy life regardless! There is so much to experience and learn. Appreciate you taking the time to share this viewpoint!
Thanks for reading and commenting! Life is better and there’s more time and energy for learning and experiencing new things. I’d love to share more, but I’m kinda gatekeeping it for the longer essay I’m working on!
I’m not sure when I started not drinking but it certainly was gradual. I’d never experienced any dependency but there was a period that I was going through something traumatic and I found myself drinking every day. It wasn’t much but it became trouble some.
I do not like addictive behaviors within myself due to my childhood so I focused on this behavior and stopped. Suddenly, I was just not drinking at all. Often choosing shrubs for their yummy taste if I was going to have anything. The clincher for me was the research study that came out saying that wine and alcohol were cancer agents and that the wine and alcohol industry had knowingly withheld this data for years.
The most difficult part was that it was hard to hang out with friends because the focus was alcohol and while I didn’t have a problem with saying no or a struggle with needing it, I felt like I was bringing the vibe down. That wasn’t fun at all.
The good news is that there are far more people and places that do not center occasions on alcohol and that is really wonderful.
Yes, saying a big FU to Big Alcohol made the decision much easier for me too! Unfortunately, some people do stop inviting you to stuff because they don’t realize you’re actually more fun without drinking, or they just don’t like what your not drinking says about their drinking, and that’s their issue. You find out who your real friends are.
This is so true.
Mazel tov! I remember when you did that! Congrats, that's a big deal. xo
Agree. Good on you, Lisa. xo
Thanks, Bar! xoxo
Thanks, Nan! xoxo
Love this. You explain it so well. Zero benefits, posion—>similar to smoking a cigarette. Just wish my mom was reading this and not me. I rarely drink anymore, but I guess I never thought about giving it up for good. Figure if I don’t have a problem, it’s okay to want to “loosen up” at a social event of some sort. On that same note though, I pretty much always feel worst after so why do I still reach for it? I stumble my words, overthink, underthink (if that’s a word lol) and get a headache. What’s really fun about that? You didn’t have a problem and still gave it up… I think you’re on to something ❤️
Vicky—if you read Quit Like a Woman by @Holly Whitaker, you would be DONE. It will piss you off like it did me. “Why wait until there’s a problem to quit?” is one of the crazy things we don’t think about since it seems like EVERYONE drinks. And if you don’t, they’ll assume there was a problem. It’s so stupid!
Congratulations Lisa!! I am almost at 3.5 years AF. Life truly is better without it! I have to give you a shout out for your suggestions of embracing Annie Grace’s “This Naked Mind.” And for the gift of Holly Whitaker’s, “Quit Like A Woman.” Both inspirational in addition to your inspiration that you provided on a daily basis! Cheers to us!! Thank you Lisa
Thanks so much, Penny! Congratulations to you!! I appreciate that you were open to hearing what I had to say, and I’m so happy that it’s making your life better too. Cheers indeed!! You are so welcome. I only wish I could share this with more people, but they don’t want to hear it!
I used to say that I was sober-curious-adjacent for a long time. Finally made the leap to sober-curious recently. Not completely sober, but we’ve stopped drinking at home and yes, the difference is undeniable. One that we long KNEW would be, but ignored anyway. Such an abusive, complicated relationship so many of us have with alcohol.
It’s amazing what we can ignore, until we can’t!
I quit drinking just this past New Year’s Day. I’m not 100 percent sure I *want* to be teetotaler. I respect your decision—I’m fascinated by it, want to learn more—but I just haven’t made up my mind about that yet. I’m feeling my way. I was not an alcoholic, but I was drinking (and eating) more than I wanted to, more than was healthy. I read “Quit Like A Woman,” and also downloaded an app from Britain that tracks and celebrates my progress (haha, it’s an algorithm that shoots up sparkles on my phone). Like you, my quitting was precipitated by illness…not a scary cancer, just a nasty flu, but bad enough that I could not drink for a couple weeks. I definitely feel better now, sleep better, have lost a tiny bit of weight. The best part is, I feel like I discovered my brakes again, that I have more power, more discipline, can bring more energy to all sorts of different aspects of daily life. Like playing with my grandchildren is better. Cooking dinner is better. Disagreeing with people is better. Doing my taxes went better! I just have more on the ball, I guess: emotionally, physically, etc.
I still do struggle with the social aspect of this and am looking forward to you digging into how that’s working for you. I am so leery of being . . . Oh, gosh, where to start? A killjoy? High maintenance? Stuck up? And it’s not just worrying about how I’m perceived, I also worry about *how I will perceive* old friends, loved ones.
Congratulations to you! I think it’s great that you’re taking your own path—as am I—and there’s not a “right” way to do it, just your way! I’d like to recommend Annie Grace’s work, much of which is free online. Watching the daily videos in her free 30 day experiment helped cement my feelings. I added the link to my article above because I can’t do it in a comment.
As she says, “I drink as much as I want, whenever I want; I just don’t want to!”
Wishing you all the best. Thanks for reading and commenting!
If you’re willing and able, could you say more about why you decided it was the right time to get the tattoo. That is, how did you know it was a real permanent change?
Once I read all three books in my post and did Annie Grace’s 30-day Experiment, I just knew I could never go back. I knew too much. My ego wouldn’t allow it!
It was a comment in Laura McKowen's book that got me started on the sobriety path. "How many more times was I willing to break my own heart." I also got sober in 2020. I started my journey with Laura's TLC group. Congratulations on your journey! I am now a host for an international online women's support community that is completely free. I love helping others. And I love that we can offer it for free....no one should have to pay to get sober. Again, congratulations!
Congratulations to you too! 2020 was a great time to give up alcohol, even as others were doubling down. I was in Laura’s TLC group for a while too—and also Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind group. I discovered Annie via Laura and Holly’s old podcast. The amount of free support materials offered by all three of them has been amazing!
Wow, thanks for inspiring, Lisa! So glad you are healthy, and breaking up w drinking sounds like a pivotal moment in your life. Teetotal on. You’re wonderful!
Thanks, Savana! And Happy May Day! 🌸
I no longer drink and I’ve found I can enjoy life regardless! There is so much to experience and learn. Appreciate you taking the time to share this viewpoint!
Thanks for reading and commenting! Life is better and there’s more time and energy for learning and experiencing new things. I’d love to share more, but I’m kinda gatekeeping it for the longer essay I’m working on!