"Someday, I'll Break Up With Alcohol"

Five Years Ago Today!

Woodstock, NY, fall of 2021, about to get my Teetotaler tattoo—pic below.

I knew it would be over before retirement, but my relationship with alcohol was ultimately undone by the events of 2020. That January, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had my surgery at the end of February, and by the time I was ready to start radiation, we were all stuck at home thanks to the pandemic. My health became my number one priority.

I’d been shocked by my diagnosis, having felt pretty invincible before that. Then I read in a book given to me by my oncologist how much just a couple of drinks a week increases your risk. WHAT? I hadn’t realized that the correlation was so high, and that the amount of drinks considered risky was so few.

Fall of 2020, stuck at home alone until there was a vaccine.

I could no longer ignore my cognitive dissonance around drinking; my top concern was becoming cancer-free and staying healthy in recovery. I knew my immune system had been weakened, so I was terrified of catching Coronavirus, as we called it then. I started reading more about alcohol, nutrition, and sleep, and also started using Arbonne products. This is not a commercial, nor am I inviting any discussion of MLM’s here, but I’ll say this: doing the Arbonne 30-day challenge is what got me to cut out alcohol completely for the first time. The difference in how I felt, and especially how I slept, was undeniable.

After my second round of the nutrition (and alcohol free) challenge!

I read a couple of pivotal books, did another 30-day challenge, then another, then chose the date I’d break up with alcohol altogether. What I’d learned in those couple of books was that this relationship was abusive—drinking is abusing your body, no matter how little you do it, it’s still poison. I started to view it the same as smoking cigarettes—a more obvious bad decision. Once it sunk in that there was absolutely no benefit to drinking, and instead innumerable reasons to stop, including bucking the fucking patriarchy, it was over.

Three books that completely changed my attitude about alcohol. Highly recommended!

May 1st, 2021 was the first day of the rest of my life post-alcohol. I refer to it as a breakup, but it’s the kind where every once in a while, I’ll text him, we’ll make out on my terms, and I’ll remember why we broke up in the first place. I don’t worry that it will make me want to do it more, and I certainly don’t identify as an alcoholic. On the contrary, I have a whole-ass problem with that term that I’m not getting into here, nor do I identify as sober. I’m a teetotaler. I don’t participate in alcohol culture. It’s not a regular part of my life and I don’t miss it. I think it’s ridiculous how the general public has been hoodwinked into believing that raising a glass of alcohol is the only way to celebrate, socialize, or relax. That’s utter bullshit.

Peace out, alcohol. I’m a proud Teetotaler now!

I have SO MUCH MORE to say about this, and I’m working on a longer, reported essay, which I can’t workshop here. First rights and all that jazz. But I’m hoping to share it with you and a much wider audience once I nail it!

What are your thoughts on alcohol culture? On your own relationship with alcohol? Have you read any of these books? Do you wish you wanted to stop drinking? If so, read these and it just might be ruined forever for you! I’d love to hear what you think about all of this.

A SOMEDAY TIMES NEWSFLASH:

This is a great time to upgrade your subscription, because I’m going to start leading 60-minute generative writing workshops on Zoom in June. They’ll be for my paid subscribers, with a pathway for free subscribers to attend, and also a sale! All levels of writers are welcome. The first workshop will be on Hermit Crab Essays. If you’ve never heard of them, more reason to attend!

Stay tuned for more information on this soon!