There was a point where I thought I’d never attend a protest. I’m not one for crowds, especially unruly outdoor crowds, with no guarantee of a clean, convenient restroom at hand. And frankly, I was a little bit scared. So I left it to other people to do the rallying, while I did a lot of donating.

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Then things went from bad to worse. I’m going to keep it simple here (and scrap the much longer post I’ve been writing all morning): at some point, I got too concerned about democracy to cater to my own comforts and fears. I was more angry than afraid, and there were better, safer, suburban options for protest.

So I went to the first NO KINGS rally in May of 2025, in Arlington Heights, Illinois, with a couple of friends (thanks to Kim & Robin). I was paranoid about standing near the street and kept walking around the whole time, but I was glad I went. It was truly joyful to be part of that crowd.

In October, I went to the second round all by myself, attending in Arlington Heights again and the one in Palatine. Two in one day! Again, just being with other people who care enough to be out there felt amazing, and safe.

Yesterday I went to round three in Palatine, alone again. What struck me the most this time was the number of veterans out there, the efforts they went to, and the pure appreciation in their eyes for everyone else. The signs below were made by a veteran, who travels around with them.

It feels comforting to be out there in solidarity with so many people, and so many veterans, and to know that we are being counted. Our message cannot be ignored, and I’m proud to have gotten out there, even though it was cold and windy and I’m anemic! I say this because if you’ve ever thought protesting was for someone else, too scary, or too inconvenient—it’s not anymore. You don’t have to go to the massive, unruly protest in a major city if that’s too much for you. Go suburban. You won’t regret it.

Is there something you’ve completely changed your thinking about? As in, you never thought you’d do it, then something shifted and it moved onto your Someday List? The longer I live, the more of those I think of. Running is one that I’ll probably write about here someday!

Tell me in the comments what’s changed for you, from never, to maybe, to someday, to done day!

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We started Spring Cleaning with the easiest thing—purging the obvious. If you missed that post, it’s here. Now we have to make some tougher decisions about parting with things that are no longer serving us. Someday I’ll write a much longer post on that topic alone, but for now, we’re keeping it simple by only looking at five categories again. Choose one or more and get rid of something today!

• Clothing: This is a great time to edit, especially if you live somewhere with seasons and you’re in the habit of rotating your wardrobe. I got rid of a ton of clothes last year, including a giant bag full of high school cross country gear from my years of coaching. I was able to donate it to the team, and I’m sure the new freshmen appreciated it. Gently used running shoes are collected by many shoe stores. I donated a couple of winter coats in December at my local grocery store because they always have a collection box up front. Several charities will pick up clothing and housewares, so you can choose one you care about and schedule a day using an online form. Here’s one that benefits veterans. Anything new or more valuable can be sold on Facebook Marketplace or ThreadUp. More on that below.

• Missed Returns (is this just me?): This used to be one of my worst offenses—missing the date to return something I’d had delivered, then been unsatisfied with. I still have some of the brand new, but unwanted, crap that I have to get rid of, so I’ve primarily used Marketplace for simplicity. ThredUp didn’t work well for me when I tried it with a few higher value items. Another option is to see what groups in your area pop up when you list on Marketplace, like a local “Garage Sale” page. Or sometimes you luck out and can give that electric tea kettle to your friend who is building a second home to escape our winters. Happy Housewarming, Kim! Ok, maybe that’s just me.

• Books (wait, what?): I know, hard to believe I’d ever discuss decluttering books, but I still had some education books from my undergrad, and some literary criticism from grad school that I knew I wouldn’t revisit. Anyhoo, books can be donated lots of places. There are collection boxes in my area that I’ve used, and some libraries collect them for sales. I also end up with doubles of great books that I buy ahead of a writing conference, then buy another to support the conference/author and get that one signed. The extras I give to friends or put in my Little Free Library out in front of my house. Organizing what’s left is another story. We’ll get there.

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• Kitchen Items: I downsized my collection and donated a bunch of dishes, and doubles (and triples) of utensils that I’d never need, to the Salvation Army. There’s one nearby, so I dropped it off, but feel free to use a pickup service as discussed above. Now, do you really need to keep that egg separator? Someone just started baking and will be thrilled to buy it secondhand for a dollar, which goes to some good cause. Let it go. Ditto for appliances like the Instant Pot you bought in 2020 and used once, and probably the ice cream maker that I still think I might use someday. Get real with yourself. I’ll try, too!

• Sport/Hobby Items: What are you hanging on to that you’ll never use again? I did an inventory and decided to part with several things.

  • Scuba Gear. Those days are officially over, since I’m not buying a third set and I won’t use rental gear for breathing/life support. Snorkeling is still on the table, which is good enough for me.

  • Rollerblades. Too dangerous and too old (the rollerblades, not me, yet).

  • One of two bikes. I sold it during the writing of this post, on Marketplace! My older bike used to live in the track shed at school for coaching, and I’d sometimes wish I had it at home. Right after I bought a spare, I broke my wrist, then never rode it. Now I’m retired, and all I need is one bike—my old one.

  • Skis. They haven’t been used in about 15 years, so I think it’s time. I learned that these can be tough to dispose of, so I was thankful that the veteran’s charity that I linked above takes skis.

That’s it for now! I’m fully aware that I haven’t even spoken about cleaning products, personal care (the drawers in my bathroom!), linens, basements, etc. The truth is that some things have to stay on the Someday List for a while. We aren’t trying to be perfect, or overwhelmed, just to check some things, even one thing, off the list. Perfect is the enemy of progress, right?

• A note—as tax day approaches, I’d like to remind you that donations are tax deductible as well as morally satisfying. Win-win!

What’s one thing you could donate, today or tomorrow, not someday? Tell us about it in the comments. What did you let go of? How did it feel?

Happy Spring Cleaning!

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I always thought people who did live storytelling were so cool. It was a convergence of great writing, stage presence and performance, and perfect timing. Nobody wants to be gonged off stage and disqualified from winning. I’d only ever watched them online until I attended my first Woodstock Bookfest in 2014 (called Woodstock Writers Festival at the time). By the time I got to the Story Slam, which was the opening of the Festival, I already felt like I was in a wonderland. It was my first visit to Woodstock, New York, and I was charmed from the beginning. My rental car was a Volkswagen Bug, which seemed perfect. The drive from the city up to the Catskills got more and more gorgeous as I traveled north. The inn I stayed at was as charming as all of the photos suggested, and was walking distance, past the picturesque millstream, to the main venue.

The story slam was so impressive! The room was packed and the energy electric. The performers seemed like professionals to me, and were so talented that I didn’t know how the judges would ever decide on winners. Those who went over the allotted time got the gong, which seemed brutal, but did narrow the field by a couple. The prizes were bags full of books, and what could be better than that? I dreamed of being confident enough to get up there one day, and the prizes only sweetened the deal.

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I returned to the Bookfest each year, and in 2016, I took the stage for the first time. Let’s just say it went fine, but it wasn’t great. First, I hadn’t realized that you could read your story. I memorized mine and timed it by practicing on the drive from Manhattan to Woodstock. When I got on stage, the nerves, the bright lights, and the effects from the wine I’d downed backstage threw me a bit, so it took a few seconds to get started and focused. After that, I did fine, except for forgetting to say the exact line necessary! I’d referenced it in the beginning of my story, so there was context, but I hadn’t said it straight out, so I would have been disqualified no matter how I performed. Still, I’m proud of how the rest of the story went, and mostly, that I finished just before the gong. My timing, at least, was perfect.

You can watch my first and second slams HERE and HERE.

As soon as I got off stage, Nan Tepper scolded me about not having written my story down, and that was the first I heard that I was allowed to do that. Suffice to say I was more prepared for my second slam, in 2017, but couldn’t get my story printed out in time, and had to read from my phone. Still, it was funny, and it’s my favorite of the three times I’ve performed. I felt good about pushing myself to get better, and continued. My third time, in 2019, I was finally prepared, but my carefully printed story wasn’t up to the rest of the competition. It was a very tough field that year, and I haven’t been especially inspired to do it again since. I’m sure I will at some point, maybe soon, as just writing this is giving me an itch.

There’s no Woodstock Bookfest this year, though they are still having a story slam. I can’t make it for that, but I can still attend story slams online once a month at Wham! Bam! Thank You! Slam!, and yesterday’s was amazing! Friends and fellow writers , , , and performed and knocked my socks off. Be sure to check them out here on Substack too.

Have you ever performed in a story slam? Attended one? Would you like to? Tell me in the comments if you’ve attended, performed, or even dreamed of it. Is it on your Someday List?

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I’ve never been much of a spring cleaner; instead, I avoid housekeeping tasks as much as I can. I’ve hated cleaning since I was a kid, because my sister and I did all of it, plus the dishes and laundry for our family of four, starting around age ten. I can still hear my dad saying, “The key to a clean floor is a well-swept floor.” He said I swept like an old lady, whatever that means. I can’t stand the smell of Pine-Sol to this day, and it gives me an immediate stomachache. I’ll never forget when I got the pay increase after earning my second master’s degree, and could finally afford to pay someone to clean my house. What an upgrade!

Now that I’ve got more time on my hands in retirement, and I’ve been living in this house for almost 17 years, there seem to be a lot of longer-term spring cleaning activities that need doing, so here we go. Before we can begin to clean, we need to clear the old junk and clutter out of the way first. In the name of getting things done sooner than “someday,” we’re going to start simple, with a very low bar, clear parameters, and only five categories. Feel free to pick one, more if you’re feeling inspired to build on that momentum.

What is EXPIRED?

• Food/Pantry: Check the dates on all of your spices, baking stuff, whatever gets shoved into the corners. My mom once found a jar of jam, unopened, in the back of a cabinet, that was 10 years past its expiration date. A very stubborn friend of mine insisted on eating it, over the course of the next year or two, sending me a photo each time of his toast slathered in raspberry jam that was brown instead of red. He said it tasted “fine,” and he never got sick, so in a way, I guess he was right? (Hi, Moose! 😁)

  • If you haven’t checked dates (or back corners) in your fridge and freezer, do this first. It’s one thing I’m pretty good at doing weekly. Please clap.

    

• Medicines/Supplements: This is embarrassing, but I let these stack up starting from when I moved into this house. They went from an unused shelf in a medicine cabinet, to a small box in a closet, to a doubled paper grocery bag in the garage. By the time I retired, it was full, and I needed both arms to carry it. I wish I could tell you what motivated me to FINALLY drive to the one drugstore in the area that recycled medicines. I guess I ran out of reasons to say “someday,” or at least got sick of hearing it from myself. It only took about 22 minutes to get there, then almost as long to feed all of the bottles, one by one, into the large metal mailbox-like contraption that was located next to the pharmacy. As luck would have it, there was a long line of customers waiting as I was making my deposits, each bottle clanging its way down the tube to land at the bottom of the box, the handle squeaking each time in between. It seemed to take forever, and I was sweating the whole time. It felt sketchy to be handling this amount of drugs, but clearly, I was no criminal, because here I was legally disposing of them. Sketchy people don’t have leftover Xanax and Ambien. Just sayin’.

  • If you can stay on top of this, you can actually donate your leftover medication that’s not expired, using this LINK.

    Subscribe to The Someday Times today!

• Paper: I got rid of so many magazines that if you stacked them up, they’d be almost as tall as I am. They were mostly a collection of old Writer’s Digest and Poets & Writers, but there were a few Backpacker, Sea Kayaking, and assorted travel magazines. In 2020, I subscribed to the print edition of The New Yorker, so I also had a year’s worth of those. They were all recycled eventually, but I did flip through a lot of the writing ones first and tear some things out. I do have an issue, pun intended! As for documents, I found a free local shredding event last fall, got everything together, and was so excited when the day came to dump off years of paperwork. But nature did not cooperate, and since the volunteers were collecting boxes in an open parking lot, a thunderstorm with lightning canceled the event. There’s another one on the calendar for October, but I may try to find something sooner. That box is haunting me from a closet until it’s gone, I swear.

• Holiday Decorations: If you still have Christmas decorations up, STOP READING AND TAKE THEM DOWN NOW! Yes, I’m considering them expired at this point. If you are normal and they’re all neatly packed away, make a note to see what you can downsize next year, if that’s something you want to do. In my opinion, everyone could do with fewer decorations. Less is more. I can’t stand an overcrowded, mismatched display, but maybe that’s just me. ***The exception to this is snowman decorations, which may remain out until it stops snowing, or May 1st, whichever comes first. I have completely made this rule up, so take it or leave it.

• Paint (is this just me?): When I moved into this house, the previous owners left behind all of the paint they’d ever bought in a corner of the basement. I’ve done some painting since then and added a few cans to the pile, but other than that, I’ve managed to ignore this particular mess for almost 17 years. After a while, things just blend into the background, you know? I did a Google search a few times over the years on how to recycle paint, but it always involved mixing it with kitty litter and seemed complicated. But now I have a Substack about not putting things off, so I had to figure this out. It was pretty easy thanks to a new program that’s offered in only 13 states. Here’s a link to see if you’re lucky enough to use this option. On Monday, I called two stores near me, one of which said they’d accept more than the usual 5 gallons, so I dropped off 17 cans of paint in two trips. What a relief!

What’s ONE thing you can get out of your house today or tomorrow? Can you get THREE things done in the next week or so? Tell me in the comments what things you’ve been meaning to get rid of, but especially tell me when you’ve crossed one off your list! Let’s motivate and celebrate each other! Someday is today!

There’s plenty more to do, and plenty more spring to do it in, so I’ll be back with Spring Cleaning: Part Two soon.

Happy Spring Cleaning!

More to come on this topic…

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One of the things a lot of us plan to do someday is start eating healthier, or at least try. My efforts tend to cycle, but there’s always a huge spike in interest immediately following a trip to The Retreat, a wellness spa in Costa Rica which I’ve now visited five times. Read my recent post about it HERE. After a week of eating such a balanced, organic diet, I’m always feeling good about continuing at least some of the good momentum when I get back home.

I still remember the first time I bought chia seeds, which was the day after I returned from my first trip to The Retreat. Since then, I’ve always made a trip to Trader Joe’s or to Whole Foods to buy some new ingredient for a healthy recipe that I may or may not end up making. Another of those ingredients, which I’ve bought repeatedly, then thrown away unopened, is dates. I’ve been repeating this since 2019, and dates last for a while (no pun intended), so we’re talking probably four times that they’ve gone wasted. On my 2024 trip, I took a picture of a recipe for date-sweetened brownies from a book in my room, written by the spa’s creator, Diana Stobo. It seemed simple enough, yet I’d bought two new packages of dates since, and still hadn't so much as removed the shrink wrap from the container.

But this is a new me! I have a whole Substack now about getting things done someday, and what better time for dates than Valentine’s Day, right? See what I did there? Ok, I still didn’t get it done then, but I finally made the damn brownies today. You guys, it took fifteen minutes, tops. I’ve been procrastinating making this particular recipe for almost three years, and it took fucking fifteen minutes. I think I always thought they would end up sticky and then not be that good anyway, so a lot of expense and mess for nothing. But guess what? They are DELICIOUS!

Again, I ask, what are we waiting for? I wish I had the answer, but at least I’m out here talking about it. What’s that thing you keep meaning to buy, or make, or try? Do you buy a bag of spinach or kale just to throw away a week later? Do you mean to bake, but by the time you get around to it, the brown sugar is hard as rocks or your baking powder is from 2011? Tell me in the comments what your food nemesis is. In the meantime, please enjoy this very easy and very delicious recipe for date-sweetened brownies:

Well, this was harder to pull together than I thought it would be. I’ve written about the first time I remember getting evicted many times over the years as it’s a core memory. I knew there were at least a few drafts hiding in my piles of papers, besides the ones I’d found on my laptop when I was backing up my documents. (See my last post on that here). This sent me off on a search through almost everything I’ve written on paper over the last 25 or so years. It was exhausting.

I found a lot of different versions, written to varying prompts in so many different workshops and classes, in so many notebooks and folders. Depending on the time allowed, the angle of the prompt, and maybe most importantly, my state of mind at the time of writing, some details only appear in one draft. Memory is a tricky thing that way and I have an example of that from something else I’m working on for my writing group.

There’s another core memory I’ve written several versions of over the years, and I’ve referenced eating Chips Ahoy cookies in the scene. But as I uncovered more drafts, I came across an older one that said they were Rich’n Chips cookies, which is the capital “T” Truth. Now, did I forget that detail, easy to imagine since Keebler stopped making them in the late 1980’s? Or did I choose to make it something more relatable, but still specific? I tend to believe that I just forgot and filled in the gap with something close enough, because memory will do that sometimes without your knowing. Also, I’m terrible at making things up, so I wouldn’t have thought of it! Does anyone remember those?

I’m not going to share all of the drafts that I found, only because there’s a lot of redundancy. In some cases, like the first one below, the piece is about all three evictions that I remember as a series, or as a jumping off point to something more. If you don’t know me very well, it might be news to you that I was evicted three times as a kid. But it was news to me, when in 2017 my mom referred to the first time as the second time, and that’s how I learned it actually happened four times. But that’s another story.

From here, I’ll try to make one full, sparkly draft with whatever I think are the best bits of what I already have. Then, I’ll see what, if anything, I can do with it in terms of submitting it to be published, after a LOT of editing. Depending on calls for submissions, I may rewrite the angle or vary the length, etc., but I’ll share with my group and edit from there. I’m also interested in exploring other forms—maybe a poem, definitely something in the hermit crab family.

An example and an explainer of hermit crab essays can be found HERE from Brevity Magazine. And one of my favorites: The Heart As A Torn Muscle, By Randon Billings Noble.

Eventually this story will be included, in some form, in my memoir. For now, here’s the raw, unedited material.

First Eviction Drafts:

From a workshop in Woodstock, NY, summer 2018 with Abigail Thomas and Beverly Donofrio. I loved this one and always hope Martha Frankel will do something like this again. This is the beginning of a piece about me ultimately moving out at 17 after being evicted three times.

The first time it happened, I was in third grade, and it was the last day of school. As the bus pulled up to our driveway, I could see our stuff—all of our stuff—scattered across the front lawn in piles. I hadn’t known the word “evicted” before that, and though I didn’t understand exactly what was happening, I understood enough to feel embarrassed.

The Sheriff’s Police were boarding up the windows. That was my first clue that this was my parent’s fault. They didn’t board up the garage though, and we lived in it for three weeks.

Found in documents on my laptop—modified October 2019. No idea what prompted this one.

It was the last day of school of my third grade year. We were living in a big, old, drafty farmhouse for the past two years and there had been lots of good times there. The house had so many rooms that one was named “The Funk & Junk Room” and had all sorts of stuff in it, including my dad’s drum set. With its enclosed front and back porches, we had room for “puppy boxes” and raised several litters of puppies there. At one point, we had fourteen dogs. We had the room for all of this, as the house and property were sprawling at the dead end of a road in unincorporated LaGrange, Illinois. There was also a large 3-car garage which my dad kept his race car in and spent hours out there working on it with his buddy and co-owner, Jim. I sometimes liked to hang out with them and loved going to the racetrack (Santa Fe Speedway) every weekend during those years.

As the bus drew nearer to the end of the street, I saw something strange—our couch was sitting out on the grass on the side of the house. As the bus pulled in alongside the house, I noticed there was other furniture, piles of things, everything in fact, piled up on the grass and even in the gravel driveway. I had no idea what was happening. I saw men nailing boards over the windows and across the doors. Did our house catch on fire? No. Were we robbed? What was wrong? I knew in the pit of my stomach that something bad had happened, and I’m so thankful now that I didn’t know what it was, though I did feel it. Thank God for saving me the embarrassment of knowing that we had been evicted. Thank God even more for the fact that it was the last day of school, and I never saw any of those kids again.

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Last week I was browsing social media—the writerly stuff, not the horror show—and still I found myself caught dead in my tracks at a post. The prolific writer, teacher, editor, etc., had posted a simple question on her FB, “PSA to all my writer friends - have you backed up your computer recently?” Chills went down my spine. Here I am, finally getting my writing off the ground, and trying to get what I’ve already done organized, and I could so easily lose everything that’s digital. Suddenly that seemed like an emergency, so I asked in the comments “What do I even buy?,” and someone quickly replied with a recommendation, which Allison seconded. I was off to do a little research, and pretty quickly, I had ordered one. It arrived a day later, which was almost too soon for something I’d been putting off for years. I felt like I needed another day, at least. I was intimidated.

The last time I’d bought an external hard drive, it was with advice from some Genius at the Apple store, back in 2007. That thing was so confusing and clunky to set up and figure out, then when I finally got it going, it said it would take something like 37 hours to complete the backup. I’m pretty sure I bailed at some point and to this day I don’t know if there’s anything on it. I guess I should check and figure out how to get rid of it. I’ll save that for Spring Cleaning, which I’ll be writing about here in March.

It’s been almost 20 years since then, and the tech has definitely improved. The new drive is tiny, lightweight, and it only took a quick YouTube video for me to figure out how to format it. I was able to copy all my documents, downloads, everything from my files and desktop onto this hard drive in under 40 minutes.

The interesting part came after. I may have allowed myself a moment for a pat on my own back for finally being digitally responsible and getting this done. Then the regrets and the second guessing set in. What all did I copy here? Maybe I should have gone through this stuff first. So I started scrolling.

Some things that grabbed my attention:

• A whole folder of creative writing I’d done for a class in the summer of 2005, all examples of different types of writing. I had virtually no memory of writing these. There were two poems that contained memories and specific details that I could pull out to use in my memoir writing. The poems themselves are not good, but recycling is.

• A very short piece that I wrote that might be something. Might read it to my writing group tonight and see what they think.

• One of my favorite quotes, in a document all by itself, for posterity.

  From Marilyn Ferguson:

  “It’s not so much that we’re afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it’s that place in between that we fear. . . It’s like being between trapezes. It’s Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There’s nothing to hold on to.”

  Oddly, this also describes the feeling I’ve had before when moving between laptops and counting on everything being in a cloud. Can’t hold on to that either.

• An absolutely horrible and very embarrassing poem I wrote about my ex, bemoaning the fact that we still weren’t engaged (cringe) even after he’d had a near death experience from being hit by a drunk driver. The hospital made it abundantly clear that “girlfriends” had no legal right to information or anything else, so until he was considered conscious, I was a nobody. I also found a half page rant written directly to him (that I’m sure he never saw) about the whole situation. I had to print it out just so I could burn it. Ick. I wish the girl who wrote both of those could appreciate another great Marilyn Ferguson quote, “Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom.” And what I should have been afraid of is being stuck with him.

• The folder containing the awful poem was password protected, because I used to share a laptop with my ex. This was so, so stupid because he would never be that interested in my writing.

• A webinar download of an Craft Talk titled “Organize Your Writing Life; Get Unstuck in 2026,” which I then watched yesterday. So valuable! At one point, Allison says, “The right partner supports your work.” As I was pumping my fist in the air, having just written about the above, she made sure to repeat it just in case anyone didn’t catch it the first time. Since this has now turned into an Allison fan blog, I’ll just link to her website here:

  Allison's website

• An essay from the early 2000’s about a resident in the nursing home I’d worked at in high school. So many details I’d forgotten about that would have been lost forever!

• Itineraries, menus, and shopping lists from when I used to do Upward Bound, an adventure education program for high school students. We’d take these (mostly troubled) teens on an 11 day trip, no electronics, just camping, team building activities, backpacking, kayaking, canoeing, rock climbing and rappelling, and we’d bring them home stronger than they were before. Most of these kids had never done anything like this, or been away from home, or drugs, or screens, or even their friends and families for more than a day or two. I still think it’s the best, most impactful work I’ve done. Life changing, for them and for me, and though I don’t think I need any of those documents, I couldn’t quite drag them to the trash.

  

• Several accounts of times we were evicted when I was a kid, written at all different times, from different workshop prompts and angles. I’m looking forward to combining the best of them for my memoir.

• The older documents that I opened had a strange appearance, which took me a minute to figure out. There were two spaces after the periods, and let me tell you, I did not enjoy the look. I’m so glad that changed. (Sorry for any of you die-hards out there! I fully believe in the Oxford Comma, if that helps).

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There was also a lot of junk, much of it accumulated during the pandemic, when I taught from home for a year thanks to my breast cancer. I would use my personal laptop for everything, since it was bigger and easier to navigate, then I’d use my work laptop for Zooming. Unfortunately, I ended up with a lot of downloads that I need to delete, among them schedules, lesson plans, PDF’s of handouts, IEP paperwork, grading information, just so much junk I don’t ever need to look at again, so I somewhat enjoy dragging it all to the trash. Not that any of it was actual trash, it was important once. I’m just happy to be done looking at it!

It’s been quite a journey down memory lane, and there’s a ton I haven’t even explored yet, but I’m glad to know it will be there when I feel like I have the time! I may update this post when I get around to it.

Have you backed up your work/your computer recently? It’s easier than you think, and interesting to see what’s all been hiding there in the couch cushions, so to speak. If you’ve looked recently, what did you find that surprised or intrigued you? If you’ve been putting it off, for how long? What would make you get it done?

Comment below to tell me how digitally responsible, or not, you are. Better yet, comment “DONE!”

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After having most of my life revolve around the school year calendar, it’s been a longtime dream to travel somewhere warm mid-January, after my retirement. I’m feeling incredibly blessed to have been able to finally do this last week. Unfortunately, I packed and carried some guilt along with me due to the turmoil happening at home in the US, and especially in Minneapolis/St. Paul. This post isn’t about that, but I’ll say that reading Jeannine Ouellette’s post, linked here, allowed me to shift my perspective. It allowed me to relax into my vacation, to appreciate art and rest, and to be able to write and share about it now, home and ready to join the fight. Please read this when you get a chance:

Writing in the Dark with Jeannine Ouellette

The Ancient Irresistible Rejoicing of Power Over Weakness

Last night in my Writing in the Dark | The WORKHOP, we did a close reading of Tony Hoagland’s poem, “Lucky,” in which he writes about caregiving for an elderly mother…

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3 months ago · 78 likes · 55 comments · Jeannine Ouellette

I posted about my guilty feelings on Facebook, and friends chimed in, saying, “It’s ok, you deserve it.” Funny how you have to be able to see it from another perspective to allow it for yourself. There’s no question I’d tell someone else not to feel guilty, and I did. So why not the same grace for myself? Working on it!

I’m able to deeply appreciate this trip now for so many reasons. I’d visited this resort four times before, the last time for nine days, right after my retirement. I thought that would be the ultimate trip. Unfortunately, I had also suffered a huge loss right at the same time, so it hit different. I also came down with Covid (my only time) at the end of that visit, then went home to deal with even more unexpected problems. This post isn’t about that depressing time, but do look for it when I get around to writing “Someday, I’ll Retire.” Suffice to say I’ve felt the need for a “do-over” since then, but because I was in such a shitty place last winter, I wasn’t ready yet. Instead, I spent most of February and March researching options for moving out of the country.

The other big Someday Trip on my radar has been a fall trip up East during peak leaf-peeping season. I had it all planned this past fall, but cancelled for a number of reasons including more political bullshit and a very strong sense of dread that gave me chest pains. That one wasn’t meant to happen yet, but I’ll get there!

Now, to the beauty of this trip, to a magical place called The Retreat, 5000 feet above sea level on a crystal mountain in Costa Rica. It’s a luxury yoga and wellness spa that I discovered in 2019, just after they opened. This was the best of my five visits there so far. They treat me like family since I’ve been there so many times, and I got upgraded to their new, very luxurious rooms because of my status. With the new “Santosha” section came a whole schedule of extra included activities and amenities, a room that I think was close to the size of my house, which included a coffee station, a private balcony with my own bed outside, and a luxurious bathroom with a view from the bathtub that speaks for itself (scroll down). This addition also includes a third pool, separate hot tub, two more restaurants, a huge, gorgeous new yoga studio, large, well-equipped gym, and beautiful reception and seating areas, indoors and out.

If there’s a trade off for accessing this area of the resort, it’s that it’s at the bottom of a steep hill, which my watch counts as 12 flights of stairs, from the guest rooms up to the front desk and main restaurant area. They’ve included hourly shuttles, but aside from dinner, when I was in sandals, I enjoyed the crazy walks up and down the hill. A kind staff member clued me in on day one that the key is to zig-zag the whole way so you’re not feeling the angle quite as hard. A lot more steps, but easier overall, and nearly impossible to do without smiling, since it feels a bit silly. Because every inch of this road is meticulously landscaped and exploding with color, it’s a pleasure to get lost in the details as you make your way slowly up and down. No hurry, after all, it’s a vacation.

One of my favorite things about this place is the freshness and variety of foods, all dairy free (except for the occasional goat cheese), gluten free, and anti-inflammatory, and the fact that meals are when they are and what they are and I don’t have to make any decisions. I eat what is placed in front of me and I enjoy every bit of it! With the addition of Santosha and its two restaurants, there are other options, including dairy and other “naughty” foods. I stuck with the main restaurant until my final breakfast, when it was time to ease back into making choices.

I love having a loosely structured schedule, so having yoga every morning at seven, various other available activities between meals, and one spa service almost every day was perfect. I had enough discretionary time to lay in the sun by one of the pools (sparingly, of course), read in any number of gorgeous places, including my own room or balcony, or attend other activities. I read four books in six days, went on two gorgeous hikes, attended a sound bath, painted a picture during art therapy, went to yoga five of seven days, and once felt the need to walk on the treadmill and blast Taylor Swift in my headphones.

At the spa, I had a Travel Recovery Massage, a Heaven on Earth Massage, a Tropical Fruit Smoothie Facial, a Heart Opening Deep Tissue Massage, a Cranial/Facial Massage, and a Gentle Lymphatic Drainage Massage. Everything is done with great attention to detail and every little extra that you can imagine. There are bells, chimes, or singing bowls, along with the burning of palo santo and additional aromatherapy to begin and end each service, and in between: two hands massaging in pure bliss. It feels like you’re being poured out of the treatment room when it’s over.

One of the days that I skipped yoga, it was to have a leisurely morning and do some journaling. I made a list of all the things I was grateful for since arriving, which I updated later. Some of the things I wrote down:

—That everything ran on time, smoothly, and even what I forgot at home (my entire bag of chargers/cords) isn’t a tragedy, though I’ll do better next time.

—The driver holding my name up in the airport, the air conditioned drive with a bottle of cold water, the warm welcome at reception, then being ushered straight to lunch, where Sergio, my favorite chef, ran out to greet me. The staff here are the best!

—The nourishing food and the crystal-kissed water.

—Enjoying that first sunset at Santosha (the newly built section, more on that below) with Sergio, who shared some personal news because I’m “part of the family.” When he had to get back to work, he brought me a blanket since it was getting breezy. Perfect.

—Getting real milk for the coffee in my room—and only for me! Sergio made it happen.

—Enjoying my new Kindle and reading fiction, which feels like eating candy. And I don’t even know these authors, which feels crazy to me. Definitely a change from my usual: reading memoirs written by friends and acquaintances.

—Reading on my own private balcony bed.

—The gorgeous new yoga space.

—Victoria, the yoga teacher, was fantastic. She’s from Poland, but has been traveling around teaching yoga for years, including several in South Africa. We didn’t get enough of a chance to talk, but we’re keeping in touch. Here’s a link to her Instagram: victoriaherczek

—Art therapy with Victoria and one other guest, AK, sitting on the floor of the yoga studio. We talked a lot about letting go of judgment and expectation and trying to enjoy the process without worrying about the outcome. I made a painting representing how I feel when I’m at The Retreat, and I’m planning to give it to my mom!

—Watching the sunset from the bath/shower every night. Stunning.

—Wonderful fellow travelers and the freedom to have nice conversations at dinner, or to just relax in peace with my Kindle.

—Hiking with Jason and Susan (on Susan’s birthday) instead of with the large group. We got a little lost, but no big deal. We found the swings, took photos, and put our feet in the crystal river. P.S. Susan is a personal trainer and here’s a link to her Instagram: builtby.suzieq

—Jason subscribed to my Substack and I’m hoping Susan will make her own here!

—Meeting Carlos (a new staff member) and feeling his energy. Within ten minutes of meeting, he was giving me a crystal and hugging me. The most positive guy ever!

—The sound of the wind going through the bamboo.

—Buying crystals for my friends and myself.

—Going hiking again with Carlos and Esi.

—Finding my own crystal while hiking.

—Toucans in the trees outside of my room.

—Monkeys in the trees outside of my room.

—Delicious, healthy mocktails.

I had my last, very peaceful breakfast at one of the new restaurants. I was the only guest since it was only their second day to offer it in that space. It was exactly what I needed before thirteen hours of travel, airports, planes, a shuttle, and way too many people. They had real milk for the coffee (grown on site), cane sugar with cinnamon, and I ordered french toast with bacon. What a treat!

Just when I thought I was alone, I was visited by a Coati (raccoon-like cuties), who came to do his morning grooming by the pool. Adorable!

It was a perfect ending to a perfect visit. The travel home was 13 hours, but that’s what I expected. Everything was on time and pretty smooth. I know I keep saying it, but I’m so grateful to have had such an amazing time. This is the first time I’ve gone that I didn’t have to rush back to work, or, like last time, come home to illness, injury, loss, and months of uncertainty. Instead, I was able to enjoy The Retreat and the feeling of the warm sun on my skin while it snowed at home, and I didn’t feel guilty about that at all.

Now, I’m back home to help in the ways I can. Definitely thinking about how nice it would be to live in Costa Rica, but not ready to give up on US yet!

What’s on your travel bucket list and what’s standing in your way? I know the school calendar affects most people with kids too, so I bet a lot of my friends in the midwest would like to do something similar and get the heck out of here in January or February.

Tell me in the comments where, and/or when, you want to travel Someday.

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Most of what I’ll share here (hidden behind the paywall) only exists because I encountered the right prompt at the right time, and the prompts themselves were gold. Unlike most of what I’ll share here, this essay has had a bit of notoriety in the past (won an award and was published, separately), though it still isn’t what I’d call gold. Today I found some documentation of how this piece got started and how it’s changed over time, and while there is something there, it feels like mostly beginner’s luck!

Back in 2010, I was working privately with a writing teacher named Carol LaChappelle, who I’d originally met through StoryStudio Chicago. She’d written a book called Finding Your Voice, Telling Your Stories, which was just what I needed at the time. That July, Carol sent out a call for submissions for a book idea she had: Growing Up With Drunks: A Collective Memoir, and was looking for pieces 500-2500 words. It caught my eye for a couple of reasons, one being that 500 words is my sweet spot for writing.

I remembered there was a part in Carol’s book that described a childhood scene that she’d written a poem about, titled “Growing Up with Drunks,” and that it had felt eerily familiar to me. I went back to it and it put me right back in that place, with my own parents. The prompt that followed asked me to free write using “I remember” as a starter, and to bring up as many scenes and images that I could from a house I grew up in, and “Paper Airplanes” just flowed out of me.

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I doubt I edited it much, if at all, before firing it off to the Writer’s Digest Annual Writing Competition, which, if you don’t know, is A Very Big Deal. More to the point, I had no business sending them something I’d just written and had shown to nobody. I never even told anyone I submitted it, and I used a pen name. I was just sick and tired of never having anything to submit, so I sent it. I figured it would be my first rejection, and good to get it over with.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the email from Jessica Strawser, the editor of Writer’s Digest magazine, informing me that I’d won 61st place in the Memoir/Personal Essay division of their contest! I was at my desk at school and it was the end of the day. I ran down the stairs to the office in a blur, excited to tell my friend Shawne, who was a great supporter of my writing. We shrieked!

It was sweet to look back at the email this morning, which I still have, and to see how quickly I’d forwarded it to my best friend, Lisa. So, apologies to Lisa because she’s already seen this essay a LONG time ago and therefore is getting ripped off as a paid subscriber this month. Sorry about that, Sweetie.

I still think beginner’s luck had something to do with placing in the contest, given the fact that the essay was so raw. That and the judge, who I think maybe had a soft spot for a story like mine based on similarities to her own content. I later received a certificate with the pen name I’d given, which was also printed in the annual contest collection. I was so paranoid about keeping my writing private that I had deprived myself of the ability to enjoy this public accolade. I was waiting for capital “S” Someday to share my writing publicly, and it’s finally here!

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I’ve wanted to start my own Substack for a long time now, but I felt STUCK on finding a concept that inspired me, until one day when it just clicked. Like so many other things I felt stuck about getting done, or even getting started, writing a Substack got sorted into the “someday” category in my brain. But “someday” is now, right? I’m retired, so if I think I don’t have time to start, or to do, [whatever it is] now, what am I waiting for? Someday is TODAY! I’m retired, these are The Someday Times, so that’s the concept. I’m living in my someday and I finally have the time to write all about it.

What is Substack?

If you’re not familiar with Substack, it’s kind of like the old Blogger, but updated. I think of it as a place where all the smart people gather on the internet. It’s definitely where all the writers are! It’s newsletter based, and as a writer who can sometimes be nerdy about it, I’ve always wanted to have a newsletter. But Substack is a lot more than that, and there’s something for everyone. I hope you’ll follow me there to see for yourself!

Why Am I Here?

Writing about things from my Someday List is a focused way to get myself writing regularly, and moves me closer to getting the memoir writing, which looms large on my list, done. Having a regular check-in on Substack serves as a built in motivator, especially since here I am, declaring that I’ll publish consistently. I have to do it now.

What I’m really looking for here is connection and community, and I think the concept of “someday” leaves a lot of other people feeling stuck too. Everyone seems to have a Someday List that has too many things on it. Most don’t require retirement, or even a ton of time, but maybe a change in mindset or simply the motivation to get started. Based on what I have planned so far, I think you’ll find some posts more serious, some funny, some educational, but mostly I hope to motivate my readers. I’ll end every post with questions to get you thinking, or even better, moving in the direction of crossing some of your own “someday” items off the list.

What to Expect

The Someday Times will have an Early Edition and a Late Edition each month, so just two regular (free) posts, at least to start. I’ll also be posting smaller “Someday Wins” on Substack’s Notes app, which, for those who don’t know, is like good old literary Twitter back before it was ruined. When and if I get any paid subscribers, they will get at least one personal memoir post each month. I feel safer hiding my more personal writing behind a paywall and being able to see who is accessing it. These pieces will stem from things I’ve started writing over the years with the intent of revising and sharing “someday,” so still on theme!

For my writer friends out there, the paid posts will also include the prompt and the process behind these personal stories. I’ll honor and thank the teachers, workshops, or classes that got these pieces started and share a how-to along with my experience. As this community grows, I’ll share more on writing and offer my own workshops here.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this.

Please let me know what you think in the comments. How long is your Someday List? What are you waiting for? What simple thing could you do today to lighten your list?

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My sincere hope is that you will become a free subscriber to The Someday Times and support my writing. I honestly don’t care about getting paid, but I care very much about getting subscribers, so free is fantastic!

***A note: while I’m not here to make money, per se, I am here to develop an audience, which is something that will make a difference in getting me an agent and a book deal for my memoir in the future. If you want to support me in a more generous way, please think of becoming a paid subscriber as pre-ordering my book, and know it’s much appreciated!

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